I’ve never played Space Crusade.
I’ve never written a Battle Report.
I’ve never been that successful on a pogo stick either.
Last night my best mate invited me around to his place for a game of Space Crusade with him and his two sons (14 and 12).
By the time we sat down to play the game it was 9:30pm and I was already a little weary from not enough sleep since Sunday, but that’s another story. The game ended at 1am.
The boys set the board up and excitedly threw generic but fairly cool looking unpainted space marines at me. Blood Angels to be precise. Then the boys and their Dad started to ramble off the rules to me. Three voices coming at me all at once plus my mates lovely daughter belting out some tunes on sing star behind me was interesting but funny at the same time.
The game commenced and Wow what a whole load of fun it was!!
In all honesty im not sure what I enjoyed more, the actual game play or the funny, at times a little aggressive, banter between us all. Like most boys of that age they’re obsessed by testicles and I, being a man-boy myself, joined in with the ball jokes too.
I commanded the Blood Angels. The eldest boy commanded the Ultramarines and the younger son had control of the Imperial Fists. My mate bravely took on the command of the aliens. (Chaos space marines, Orks, Gretchin, Necron like androids and also a bad arse dreadnought). He also had Genestealers but they didn’t get fielded unless of course you count the expansion story at the end we came up with where the Imperial Fists commander jumped into an escape pod. More on that later.
Onto the report. I won’t go into it turn for turn I’ll just tell it like a story with some little insights too.
The Mission: Destroy The Chaos Lord/Commander at any cost and escape the space hulk.
Each unit of Space Marines entered the hulk from three different sectors. Their suspicions were that they would be up against all kinds of ghastly aliens almost immediately before they found the Chaos Lords command post.
They were bang on the money with their suspicions because as they entered the dim metal hallways of the space hulk they were fired upon by nasty little Gretchin. Usually not the most powerful adversary but going up against relatively green Blood Angels the Gretchin got lucky and took out one Space Marine with a single shot straight away. Needless to say morale hit a bit of a low for the Blood Angels and they clustered together.
Meanwhile the Ultramarines, being true veterans, wiped out anything that came their way. They took their time in securing their sector but for a reason only known to themselves they refused to enter the shower room where they were confident more aliens lingered.
The Imperial Fists were much more faster moving through their sector and took out every foe without sustaining a single scratch on their sacred armour.
The aliens waited patiently in their secret, dark hiding spots as the marines did a sweep through. The aliens seemed wary and a little skittish but resolute in their purpose.
The alien scum managed to take down another Blood Angel but this was the trigger for the Blood Angels to start getting their heads in the game. They literally tasted the blood of their fallen comrades and knew it was time for a little pay back. Their sniper took a sneaky shot at a Gretchin through a crack in the door and killed him. Then, relying heavily on tactics, they began to forge forward whispering the mantra of No Retreat No Surrender. They took out foe after foe including some of the tough metal androids. The Imperial fists finished cleaning up their sector before joining the Blood Angels in theirs. They were confronted by a lone Gretchin who courageously stood his ground while shot after shot came at him from the mighty Fists. This infuriated the Yellow marines so much so that they banded together as one big powerful wall of power against the weak but stubborn Gretchin. Eventually after more shots the Gretchin finally fell and the Fists covered the rear of the Blood Angels.
The Ultramarines lingered, a little too long, in their sector almost as if they didn’t know what to do or where to go. Orders barked all over the place over the Vox Comms but there was no real direction. All the Marines now knew where the Chaos Lord was held up and it was time to kick open the doors and bust heads but who would make the first move?
The fearless, naive and a little idiotic Blood Angels lead the push and ripped open the door to the final sector. That’s when all hell broke loose! Before them stood a menacing sight. The Chaos Dreadnought was directly in their path. All of its weapons aimed directly at the Angels. The Angels fired then darted into what they thought was the safety of the rooms. They were immediately set upon by Chaos Marines and deadly hand to hand combat commenced. Finally, the somewhat weak, Angels commander finally racked up some kills and earnt the respect of what remained of his unit.
The Imperial Fists opened fire on the Dreadnought but caused no damage. They too dashed into the relative safety of the rooms.
The Angels and the Fists called for help from the reluctant Ultramarines but still the blue warriors held back. The Marines in the thick of the action preyed to the Emperor that the Ultramaines had some special secret plan to unleash.
The alien dreadnought opened up again with its mini gun and missile launcher and took out Fists and Angels. One loan Fist stood fast, took aim and fired at the Dreadnought and managed to destroy the mini gun. A mighty cheer went up amongst the battle weary marines. There was hope at last. The Ultramarines split their unit. An interesting move. The commander and his body guard finally came busting through the doors on the flanking side to find the Chaos Lord ready and waiting. The rest of the unit followed the longer path behind the Angels and the Fists.
Now the sector was full of stranded marines and aliens. It was almost like a free for all. Every man for himself. More brave marines fell to the Dreadnought as they fought their way to where the Chaos Lord was waiting. Soon only the Angels and Fists Conmander remained standing. The Utramarines were now in the fight and one determined soul took on the dreadnought in hand to hand battle and something amazing happened. The mighty Ultramarine won the fight. Suddenly all the Marines still standing found a new drive, a new hope. They felt invigourated even crazed with blood lust after seeing the Dreadnought fall. They pushed forward towards the Chaos Lord and the last of his alien minions.
The Blood Angels commander took on the Chaos Lord in hand to hand and neither were successful in destroying the other. Then the Imperial Fists commander tried with no success either. The Chaos Lord was more skilled in the art of battle than any of the marines suspected.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the Imperial Fists commander made a mad dash for an escape pod on the other side of the hulk. For a man laden down with very heavy power armour he moved extremely fast. Every living thing stopped and stared at the fleeing Yellow Commander. They watched, curiously, as the commander jabbed at his arms with life saving meds and then disappeared into the dark escape pod.
The Chaos commander saw his opportunity and also started to retreat.
The Blood Angel commander gave chase but he was fatigued by battle and could not keep up or even take a shot. The Ultramarines however, having possibly reserved all their energy for two thirds of the game, gave chase and caught up to the Chaos Lord. Unfortunately the Blood Angels limp and weary body was in their path but one Ultramarine did not care. He climbed on top of the collapsed Blood Angel and took a shot. Bam! The Chaos Lords head blew apart.
The Ultramarines picked up the Angels commander and dragged him to the nearest escape pod and took off.
The Imperial Fist commander, Gary, smiled to himself as he ran for the escape pod. Little did anyone else know, who took part in the mission, that the space hulk was also carrying a Gem stone called Alura. This stone was said to give the person that held it special powers. Powers that would match the Emperor himself.
Gary leapt into the escape pod and was chuckling like a school kid but just as the doors slide closed behind him his chuckled came to an abrupt halt. There in the pod, all around him, hissed a dozed Genestealer aliens. No one heard Gary blood curdling cry as the Genestealers pounced…