A catch up with your friend IRO (Imperial Rebel Ork)

Hi Kids,

Through the Trapezoid shaped window today we discuss the following:

  1. The Pirate Project – Where is it at? Is it anywhere at all?
  2. The Techno Barbarian Project – A very brief (one mini) update.
  3. A new “Farm Project” – One for the kids.
  4. A comic book review – It’s been a long time since I’ve read a comic and this one was more of a small graphic novel.

– The Pirate Project –

Interviewer (let’s call him Nigel): IRO, back in February you told us you were starting a Pirate Project this year, is it still on or have you just been a lazy prick?

IRO: Thanks Neil, and a bit of respect wouldn’t hurt son. Yes it is still on but, as many of your readers can sympathize, sometimes projects get put by the wayside to allow for other projects or real life.

Nigel: Ummm… My name is Nigel, not Neil… Anyway, what do you mean real life?

IRO: Well NEIL, real life is what everyone has apart from you. You are just some goose I dreamed up to make this blog a little more interesting than usual but you and your damn attitude are really starting to get under my skin.

Nigel: Easy tiger, ok let’s get back on track and you can call me Daisy if it makes you happy, deal?

IRO: Sighhhh… Deal.

Nigel: Ok, so it is still on, can you tell us a little more about it and where are you up to with it?

IRO: It’s all about research. I’ve been reading about Pirates but mostly I’ve been looking up and daydreaming about all the miniatures haha. As mentioned in my very first post about the project there will be one island, which has a name now Saint Kristos, which will be divided into four provinces, each ruled by a different Governor. Needless to say there are tensions between all four provinces. I have penciled out a run down of each province which I will list below this interview. I have bought three (Playmobile) ships which will need converting, which I hope to, at least, start this year. I have also, just a few days ago, bought my first lot of pirates from Wargames Foundry. I went with the very cliche Treasure Island set. Long John will be one of the Captains/Governors on the island.

Nigel: Sounds exciting. How big will the island be and how many minis do you plan on adding to the project?

IRO: How long is a piece of string Neil?

Nigel: Umm well if…

IRO: Mate shut it or I will slap you so hard your great grandchildren will feel it. I’m thinking of making the actual board/base 2m X 2m from four 1m X 1m boards. This will be painted or made to look like the ocean. The main base of the island will be loose and in one piece cut from foam and then all the hills, terrain and building etc will be loose and modular. This should make it easier to pack up and store. As far as minis, one thing I love is fluff or a back story for my minis and I’m thinking, even though it will be quite a big undertaking, that each and every miniature dedicated to this project will have a back story. Even if it’s just a line infantryman or a peasant pushing a wheelbarrow. It’d be fun writing and, I hope, fun for the readers too. Another thing I should mention is that there will be a real comical element to this project.

Nigel: Well I’ll tell you one thing for free, you’re ambitious. I’ve got to be honest, I don’t think this project will be finished this year.

IRO: Derrr… Of course not Steve but I will start it with a view of completing it next year.

Nigel: Did you just call me Steve?

IRO: Get out.

Here’s the write up for the Pirate Project. It will inevitably change and evolve but at the moment I am happy with it.

Saint Kristos – Pirate Island

Saint Kristos is an island divided into four equal town/provinces and Governed by four Pirates/Governors.

1st province:

Silver Doubloon Lagoon – This town is positioned around a picturesque lagoon just off the North East coast of the island.

Governor Errol “The Ghost” Blackwell is the Governor.

The Silver Doubloon is a more well to do part of the island but with a corrupt criminal underbelly that, in some ways, is worse than the more piratical areas. The buildings are colourful and flamboyant much like the town folk.

Governor Blackwell is a depraved, self obsessed tyrant who has an insatiable thirst for women, riches and mayhem. His own daughter is a wild, murderous gang leader. His son is a spoilt and bloodthirsty maniac. The Governors cohorts are a group of twisted misfits disguised as Dukes, dignitaries and dandys.

Notable Characters:

Governor Blackwell.

Clover – Governors daughter.

Thorn – Governors son.

Pepper – Governors mistress.

The Chef – Assassin.

Sir Travis – The Admirals only friend, or so he believes.

Doctor Gulliver Von Strudel Pomp – The town Doctor and drankard.

Duke Augustus Craven – A wealthy lowlife.

Major Wembley – Commander of the Governors Militia/Home Guard.

No Ship.

2nd Province:

The North Point Docks – Named due to it’s rocky outcrop which reaches out to the most northern part of the island and the fact that it is the main docks for the island.

Captain William “The Filthy” Murphy is the Governor.

“The Docks” are a grimy and filthy place filled to the brim with smugglers, no good doers, murderers, thieves and even a lawyer. Money and treasure is constantly passing hands just as frequently as blood is spilled. The Governor, Captain Murphy, is easily the most disliked and even most feared man on the entire island. His history is long, tainted and riddled with murder, pillage and blood. He cares for nothing but Gold and Rum. He even killed his own son over a game of Quoits. He rules his province with an iron fist that is only strengthened by his loyal henchman known as “The Bloody Six.”

Notable characters:

Captain Murphy.

The Bloody Six:

  • Dorris

  • Cutler

  • Dog

  • Sweeney

  • The Bitch

  • Crumbles

Chalky – Proprietor of “The Severed Kings Head Tavern” and famed swashbuckler (Retired).

Dart Hartley – Lord of the smugglers.

Lillian “No Fingers” Hartley – Queen of the smugglers and Dart Hartleys wife.

Baron Ernest Willywash III – Captain Murphy’s lawyer.

Ship: The Scourge

3rd Province:

Hornswaggle Bay – A more fauna and flora dense part of the island which has a more Caribbean feel to it. It has a myriad of colourful characters who are mostly murderous villains.

Captain Lucinda “Dead hand” Jacobs is the Governor.

Captain Jacobs is a pirate Queen who is often away at sea as any good pirate should be. She is well liked by many but certainly not all. The ones that despise her are jealous of her good fortune and the fact that she is a woman. She lives large but is generous and jolly. However, if you dare cross her you will see the devil in her eyes and she will not be merciful.

Notable characters:

Captain Lucinda Jacobs.

Sebastian The Bad – Jacobs right hand man.

Colin – The traitor brother of Jacobs

Isla – Madam and sister Of Captain Jacobs.

Shelly – Smuggler and Duelist.

Kid – Jacobs cabin boy and protege.

Ship: ‘The Iron Shark”

4th Province:

Port Direwood – A militant/fortress town.

Admiral Henry “The Diamond” Drake is the Governor.

Admiral Drake is a former Naval Marine Captain turned pirate, explorer and treasure hunter. Drake runs a tight ship both on the sea and off it. His small army is often utilized as a kind of police force on the island. However Drake and his army are just as corrupt as any of the other pirates on the island. The only difference is, his men wear a uniform.

Port Direwood is a heavily fortified bastion town where the civilians pay very high taxes directly to Drake for his protection against the other provinces. His army is well trained and well armed and usually well out of order.

Notable characters:

Admiral Drake.

Captain Armstead – Commander of the army. “Drakes Red Marines.”

Molly “Three Teeth” Prescott – Drakes go between and pirate.

Father Dudley – A very Ungodly man of the cloth.

Bolton “The Fist” McGee – Brawler and Sergeant of Drakes Red Marines.

Gladys Day – General store owner and smuggler

Ship: The Rogue Trader

As well as all these lovely characters there will be plenty more including civilians, soldiers, militia, village idiots etc, etc.

The main reason all the Provinces are in constant dispute is that each one wants to be supreme ruler over the island. One island with one province. The other reasons are revenge for murders, arguments over treasure and entitlements and even over love interests and broken hearts.

For the minis I think I’ll mostly go through Wargames Foundry. Their range is huge and I should be able to cover most characters with them. I also like Redoubt for the Marines.

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

A special mention goes out to Mikko over at https://dawnofthelead.com/ who was the main inspiration behind this project. His own pirate project is very, very cool. Be sure to check it out.

 – Techno Barbarian Project – 

You may remember this little project:

– https://imperialrebelork.wordpress.com/2017/06/23/the-korsch-clan-techno-barbarians-part-1/

It wont be a big one at all but I did build this warrior to add to the Korsch Clan.


His name is Rogan and he’s a bit of a berserker.

– Farm Project –

A while ago I had the idea to put my humble hobby skills to a project for my youngest daughter (3). I made a start, back then, on some old stables but yesterday, as it was Daddy Daughter Day, we hopped in the truck and went to the hardware shop to buy some supplies for the play-board. The little one helped with choosing bits and pieces until she decided to sing songs from the Aladdin movie at the top of her lungs haha. we also had a funny chat about Bolts. I was looking at some for a step I need to repair on the back decking and she asked, “Whats them dadda?” I said, “They’re bolts darlen, kind of like nails.” She then looked at the nails on her hands and laughed and said, “Nooo… not my nails” Hahaha.

After the hardware shop we went to the toy shop and she chose the farm animals. She chose a set of ponies, two pigs and a family of Bears, as in Grisly bears. When I told her that Bears don’t really live on farms she told me that they do on her farm. Then she said they are Goldilocks bears. How could I argue with that amount of cuteness?

Here is what I’ve done so far. Pretty simple. I will be painting the stables, building an open backed cottage (so she can put the bears in it) and also some scatter trees and fences etc.


The road is for her little tractor and is painted sand paper.

We also played with her dolls and toys and she is definitely a chip off the old block because at one point she said the big bad wolf ate the Dadda doll. (Should I be worried?)


– Comic Book Review –

Before I’d start I’d like to dedicate this review to Miss Ignited Moth. A dedicated comic book reader and just a cool cat. If you haven’t checked out her blog yet please do so. It’s really cool and full of random things like Banana cake, stories about things in her garden, super heroes and horror movies and shark week!. Very cool. https://ignitedmoth.wordpress.com/


I went to the library recently with my lovely wife and the three year old. I was determined to find a book I could finish. Due to my busy life and age haha I find that when I sit down to read these days I nod off. Therefore I wanted to loan out something short and snappy. I found not one but FIVE “fantagraphic” books.

The first and only one I have read so far is the one picture above.

The writers/artists King of the flies “Hallograve” are a couple of clever gents from France.

The title of the book grabbed my attention first because of my March Of The Flies Project. I thought hmmm, could it be something in a similar vein? Sadly it wasn’t BUT that didn’t matter. I couldn’t put the book down.

The story telling style, the art and just the overall vibe of the thing just had me at Hello.

It’s gritty, it’s shitty, it’s grimy and grubby. It’s also quite explicit which I wasn’t expecting.

It’s, almost, Pulp Fiction style brings together a series of unrelated but still slightly linked stories. It’s both relatable and detestable but really flicked a switch for me. The characters are all very unlikable, apart from a few of the background characters.

I’d urge you to read it and dare you not to grimace at some of the dialogue and imagery.

I look forward to reading and reviewing the second book in the series. The other three I loaned out were a series called “Uber” and no it’s not about the Taxi Alternative.

3 stars

I hope you have enjoyed this rather random blog post today kids.

Now this –

Please watch it and try NOT to laugh.




32 thoughts on “A catch up with your friend IRO (Imperial Rebel Ork)”

  1. Fun post. I liked seeing what you’ve started putting together for your daughter. Also, Techno-Barbarian made me think of Techno Viking. I’d explain, but I think you should look him up and be prepared to spend some time on it.

    You also reminded me that I have Eureka’s (old?) range of pirates here somewhere, but they’re so low on the totem pole that they may never be dug out and painted unless I have some specific reason to do so. Maybe when they bring out Pirates SAGA or something?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha yeah I know Techno Viking. Strange dance moves there. If umm you want to err sell umm those low on the totem pole pirates I might know someone who’d be interested. Or we could do a trade. I don’t know what I’d have to offer you though haha. I have seven metal dwarves I wanted to paint up to go with my Queen of Mortem Hamlet – https://imperialrebelork.wordpress.com/2017/05/03/the-chapel-project-part-xxxi-the-queen-of-the-mortem-hamlet/

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for the offer, but… I never know when I might need some pirates all of a sudden. It sounds like I’m joking, but look at what happened with the Vikings who used to be in the same situation! As soon as there’s a set of well-reviewed pirate skirmish rules out (Saga?), I’m good to go!
        Nik over at Eureka is a great bloke, though – he’s local and his Pirate range is absolutely affordable. Compared to Citadel’s price, he’s practically giving them away!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for the shoutout and that pirate project sounds glorious. I’ve put together a showcase of most pirate minis around – it’s on the Random Platypus forum (http://www.randomplatypus.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=1645) so you might need to log in if it’s not visible to guests. Those are the pirates! For civilians (as you seem to have a large and colourful cast of those too) I suggest some of the following:


    Anything I can help you with, just let me know! I’ve put a fair bit of time into research and other groundwork, as I’ve now been mostly doing pirates for the past two years.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Good stuff. I like the interview style but I wonder if OHS will allow Neil back again? Nice work on the techno-barbarian and the farm too (good when your hobby skills can do something for your kids I find).

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Brilliant post! I have to rate the farm you’ve made for your daughter as the least dark project you’ve posted! And thanks for all the background material! Much to people’s surprise no doubt, I’ve read the Uber graphic novels and really enjoyed them – definitely dark!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh cool John I look forward to reading them all the more now. In regards to the farm it will be a cannibal farm. Instead of cows and sheep there will be naked bleeding and plump humans being herded up for the slaughter. Also a harvester will be in the field mowing and shredding apart dwarves in the fields. Haha. I jest.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Aw, thanks so much for the shout out! 😀 Yay for the comic review. I’ll have to check and see if my library has that one, too. 🙂
    lol That video though! I’ll admit, it did indeed make me laugh. I was like, “What am I watching right now??” 😛
    That pirate project sounds awesome! And you win all the great dad points for everything you mentioned in this post. That’s so sweet, and how cool that you can build her a farm like that. I like your daughter’s style with the big bad wolf eating people and grizzly bears living on the farm. Too cute!

    Liked by 1 person

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