I am the last Jedi oh and some other stuff including Albino Orks and Unicorn Magical Glitter Poo. Yep.

“No I wanna be Darth Vader!” I declared as a very determined and rather bossy seven year old at Cippenham Primary school 1986. However I was up against Mark and Jamie, bad boy brohers who were, both, my best mates, and my Alpha equals. I wouldn’t usually back down from a fight no matter the odds but lunch time was almost up and we really wanted to get one more game of Star Wars in SO I was Luke. Grrrrr Good guys suck… Mostly. Deadpool is cool, Batman as well of course. John Mclain, Hiccs, Dutch… Anyway I general prefer the dark side over the good. Just because my name is LUKE (Yep believe it or not my real name is not IRO) I always had to be Luke Skywalker. Suck my balls I’d say under my breath as we all ran to look for sticks that looked close to being light sabres.

I’d fight even harder, conjuring up the dark side, to try and beat Mark (Darth) and Jamie (Storm trooper) but alas because my name was Luke I’d always end up with my hand cut off but would eventually win the day. I’d always win the girl too, Claire aka Princess Leia. As a seven year old I didn’t get the whole incestual thing plus Claire was my girlfriend, yep early starter was I haha. She used to just kiss my dimples and we’d both giggle. Actually we never, technically, split up. I moved to Australia and that was that. Maybe I should look her up and say HEY YOU NEVER CALLED???? I remember I used to listen to Cliff Richards song  “A Voice In The Wilderness” and pine for claire hahaha.

 

Ok so The Last Jedi opens here on Thursday the 14th of December and I’m as excited as a Storm Trooper who discovered that These ARE the droids we are looking for!

Looking at Luke as a 60 something year old man, the same age Sir Alec Guiness was when he played Obi Wan Kenobi in New Hope, I can’t help but feel nostalgic. He’s grown older, I’ve grown older and we are yet to see if he is the same old good natured, a bit annoying and very skilled Jedi. I’m secretly hoping that he’s become really, really grumpy and has taken to writing in to local galactic newspapers to complain about the high taxes on death sticks.

I’m so pumped about seeing this movie. Especially because, I felt, The Force Awakens was a roaring success! It set itself apart from Episodes 1, 2 and 3 and brought back what the aforementioned films were lacking… The Star Wars Soul. Then Rogue One happened and blew my socks and Underpants well off!

At this stage I’m not sure if the title of Episode 8 (The Last Jedi) is referring to Luke or Rey? I know one thing for sure though, even though I love the Dark Side I think I’ll always be a Jedi. It’s what I put down as my religion a few years back when I took part in the national census haha. Check this out from Wikipedia –

“In Australia more than 70,000 people (0.37%) declared themselves members of the Jedi order in the 2001 census.[1] The Australian Bureau of Statistics issued an official press release[2] in response to media interest on the subject. The ABS announced that any answers that were Jedi-related in the religion question were to be classified as “not defined” and stressed the social impact of making misleading or false statements on the census. An ABS spokesperson said that “further analysis of census responses has been undertaken since the release of census data on June 17 to separately identify the number of Jedi-related responses”.[1] It is believed that there is no numerical value that determines a religion per definition of the ABS, but there would need to be a belief system or philosophy as well as some form of institutional or organisational structure in place.[3]

The push for Australians to declare themselves as members of the Jedi order was one of the first examples of a concept going “viral” on the internet in Australia. The website which was set up to promote the concept was visited over 100,000 times in a five-week period and was first archived by the Wayback Machine on the 21st of October, 2001.[4]

The 2006 census recorded 58,053 Jedi.[5][6] In the 2011 census, the numbers listing their faith as Jedi had picked up from the 2006 census to 65,000.[7][8]

The Jedi Census phenomenon attracted the attention of sociologist of religion Adam Possamai who discusses it in his book Religion and Popular Culture: A Hyper-Real Testament.[9] Possamai’s study placed Jediism in the context of a specific methodologicalclassification (‘hyper-real religions’) and attempted to demonstrate that hostility existed towards new religions in Australia.[10]

In the lead-up to the 2006 census, there were reports that writing Jedi on the 2006 census could lead to a fine for providing “false or misleading” information. This is despite previous admissions by the ABS that they were “fairly relaxed” about the issue in 2001 and that nobody had been prosecuted in at least 15 years.[11] In the lead-up to the 2016 census, there was a push from atheists warning not to use Jedi, imploring that it could be counted as being religious.[12]”

Crazy Sexy Cool Jus like that TLC album. Heres one of the songs from it.

 

Tonight I didn’t fancy any hardcore model converting or intricae painting so I dry brushed a whole bunch of, already painted Orks, white. My Ork Army called “Da Blud Lettas” are all Albino Orks. Much creepier and unique than the stock standard GREEN. That’s not to say I don’t love me some Greenskinz but I just like to be different. PLUS they will be part of the Warmongers army I was banging on about the other day so they’ll have a Mad Max Flavour, or should I say Mad Meks? Someone has already coined that phrase though haha. Look it up, some cool stuff.

I still need to do a second pass with dry brushing and will then touch up the clothing and weapons, drill holes into the barrels (in the old days I just painted the muzzle red haha) and also make sure they all have the same base finish. I also have a whole other bunch of Orks to do for the same army, incluidng some Nobz.

IMG_6669

NOW ONTO THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT IN THIS POST………………………..

IMG_6614

What…

The…

Shit?…

The following is in Ewok, let’s see who bothers to find out what it is in English.

“Aargutcha goopa drik oodeef yunyum star wars fans. Oh care akeeata suck nocka balls”

IRO

 

19 thoughts on “I am the last Jedi oh and some other stuff including Albino Orks and Unicorn Magical Glitter Poo. Yep.”

  1. Have to say I am excited for The Last Jedi but I have to disagree with Force Awakens, came out of the cinema from that thinking…”haven’t I seen this before?” and to people asking what I thought it was “meh”. Felt very unoriginal and just epsiodes 4+6 mashed together with a distinct lack of originality. However contrary to that I thought Rogue One was fantastic! Loved that film and loved that it made Darth Vader scary again (although I did not enjoy his “Don’t choke on your ambition” one liner, talk about uneccessary).

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I planned on writing a comment along the line – Force Awakens nah not so much, uninspired and a bit dull – Rogue One hell yeah OMG this is the RPG adventure brought to the big screen I always wanted to see – I wanted to write something like this but you beat me to it! 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

  2. Just arranging for some counselling having found out your name’s not IRO! And here was me thinking ABS was a type of plastic ( sadly, I know that it’s the polymer acrylonitrile-butadiene-styrene)!
    Enjoyed the read, thanks for the philosophical bits!
    John

    Liked by 1 person

      1. The part of me that is still a seven year old boy loves Star Wars and always will. I wanted to be a special effects model maker when I was younger because of those films- nearly cut the tip of my finger off with a craft knife trying to make a spaceship after watching Return of the Jedi for the hundredth… but when Yoda started to jump around with his lightsaber I laughed at, not with, the series. I guess I should give TFA a go. I saw Rogue One with my nephews and I liked watching it with them as I see in them what I enjoyed in the films when I was their age. So if I plan to see the Last Jedi with them I should watch it.

        Cheers,

        Pete.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’d love to see a review from you about TFA. I think the seven year old in me dominates all else when a new Star Wars movie is out and about Haha. I saw TFA 4 times at the cinema and have watched it at least a dozen times since as well. Ep 1 I’ve only watched a dozen times since it’s release. Ep 2 a little more and Ep 3 a little more than that.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I encouraged him to do it but he’s not a Star Wars fan and just said, but I am your father and looked quizzically at me hahaha. I just replied NOOOoooooo… with a look like I’d just dropped my icecream and Dad was even more lost.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I have to disagree on The Force Awakens… I enjoyed it during the film but immediately afterward the feeling fades as it’s just so derivative. It’s only a couple of years old but it hasn’t aged well. It does not stand up to a second viewing. Rogue One was awesome though, even though (as usual) the combat scenes were a total let-down; the story and the setting and characters were good enough to sustain it. Where were the Bothans though? I wonder what Claire is doing now? Cheers. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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