They have big eyes.
They are furry.
They make cute little noises.
They are cuddly and funny and…
THEY HAVE NO PLACE IN MY STAR WARS!!!!!!!!!
Much like this guy…
PORGS are a ridiculous addition to the Star Wars universe.
Sure I’d like one for the kids but if I was ever left alone with it I’d force it to watch the following movies:
Texa Chainsaw Massacre.
NOW, speaking of movies this Porg thing has a striking resemblance to this little critter.
Surely we have enough big doe eyed cats on YouTube to last us a life time o why do we need to lace something as sacred as Star Wars with such cute little pricks?
To be honest I did laugh at the Porgs a little, especially when Chewie was going to ……. one he’d ……………. (Haha I told you no spoilers!)
Ok let’s get serious.
I went and saw The Last Jedi today, by myself, yep all my mates let me down haha. I do have friends I promise.
Anyway so off I trot on my own to see the next Epic Star Wars instalment. I was pretty excited. Just as excited as I was the first time I watched Return Of The Jedi. I was a little concerened when two middle aged ladies sat on either side of me. Each of these ladies had a small gaggle of children aged from 7 – 12. My concerns were soon put to rest when one of the little kids piped up about wanting a bigger box of popcorn and the Mother whispered, “Eat what you’ve got, be quiet or you can go wait in the car while I watch star wars.” YES!!!! I felt like hugging this lady.
As soon as the LucasFilm logo came up the audience was hushed. Then thos beautiful blue words hit the screen and then DEEEEERRRRRRNNNNNN The music and icon star wars logo blasted onto the screen. I’m sure at this point that a little bit of wee escaped me. I bloody love star wars.
I’ve got to say that the opening scenes to this movie are some of the best in the whole franchise. I wont say too much but Poe is a man after my own heart and a fantastic character for this new trilogy. The movie was off to flying start and my heart was racing.
The pace was nice and intense.
Then the whole “Luke and Rey” thing came in to play and for a good chunk of the middle section of this film I was, I can’t believe I’m saying this, a little bored. I even… gulp… nearly and I stress NEARLY nodded off. I should mention that I had a very late night where copious amounts of beer was consumed so that may have played a part in my drowziness haha.
During this middle section more weird and NOT funny creatures were introduced. The best way I can explain them are like shell-less tortoises dressed like a wench straight out of Black Adder II.
The only thing I liked about the middle section of the movie was seeing Mark as Luke again. MH nailed the Lukeness (good and bad Lukeness0 but also mixed in some old Ben Kenobi too.
The last third of the movie felt like a Star Wars movie again. More intense and emotional and it had a nice simplicity to it. The ending was GREAT. Nuff said.
Some brief (NON spolier) Pro’s and Con’s.
Luke is back and just as weird but cool.
The Red Guards. COOL.
Snoke (Stupid name) but I wouldn’t say that to his FACE. You’ll see.
Some, very old, space ship skimmer type machines.
The mid air space battles.
R2D2 and his old master.
Kylo Ren is just as dark and twisted.
This next one is a Pro and Con:
Seeing Carrie Fisher brought a lump to my throat. Obviously her last movie.
I wont say exactly what happens but theres something that Princess Leia does that just didn’t carry off very well. It was cheap and cheesy. You’ll know what I mean when you see it.
Most of the middle section of this movie.
Bit too formulaic. It feels exactly like the second movie in a trilogy.
In conclusion I did enjoy the movie but probably not as much as I enjoyed The Force Awakens. Now that could be because it had been a long time between movies from Revenge of the Sith to Episode VII and I was just so pumped to get a SW fix haha.
It was definitely a fun ride but with a stop over in Slowsville half way through.
I’d love to hear what you think?
Next Year it’s the Han Solo story whoop Whoop!
Below is my list of Star Wars Films in Order of favourite to least favourite.
First let me say that the whole thing is just so bloody cool even the crappier movies still play their part.
- Return of the Jedi
- The Empire Strikes Back
- New Hope
- Rogue One
- The Force Awakens
- The Last Jedi
- Revenge of the Sith
- Attack of the Clones
- and the other one hahahaha. The Phantom Menace