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Real life Vs Hobby Life

Funny how we, as hobbyists, see real life different from hobby life isn’t it. Essentially it’s all just one life.

Is it because we get lost in our own little fictional worlds?

Is it because we want/need something that’s just for us?

Is it because we need to escape real life from time to time?

Or is it all of the above or maybe something else?

You tell me.

I often see comments like, “real life getting in the way” but never “hobby life getting in the way of real life” haha.

For me it’s all of the above.

Ive always needed “my own time.” Something my Ex could never understand. She saw it as me not wanting to be with her any spare moment I had. She made me feel guilty for wanting to do my own thing and I’m not talking about out with the lads and getting drunk I’m talking about sitting and strumming my guitar and writing a song. Perversely her idea of spending time together was watching reality tv haha. Boring!

I love being a Dad, a husband and a mate. I love my job too, very lucky, and I love being a son and a brother as well but to keep me balanced and as good as I can be at all those things I also need to do something that’s just for me. For a loooooong time it was music and still is a bit but, mostly, it’s our beloved hobby.

For me, Real Life never gets in the way but I totally get what people mean. Sometimes after work, hanging with the kids and sorting dinner etc all I want to do is plonk my bottom in my very comfy armchair and nod off watching Netflix haha. However!!! If I do that too many nights in a row I feel like I’m wasting my life. I’m very conscious of how little time we have on earth so I feel, almost, driven to try and get as much done as possible. I’ve learnt to slow down but my life is, for the best part, pretty hectic, so a chance to stop and just paint or build some minis and also put up a post is euphoric for me.

I’m also quite a home person. What I mean by that is I really enjoy just being at home in my own space. I like people (on my terms) and I enjoy going out but, to be honest, I keep all that to a minimum. Every now and then is cool but my idea, these days, of a big night is a pizza, a cup of tea, maybe a beer or two if it’s the weekend, and a pile of plastic men to build haha.

Love to hear all your thoughts on this you crazy homosapiens!!

Below is some make believe in real life.

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Remember, life is like a box of chocolates and they’re all mine so piss off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best regards,

IRO

54 thoughts on “Real life Vs Hobby Life”

  1. Interesting post. Some good points dude. Family comes first for sure, and work is a necessity. But R&r time is important, it is one life and we are each one person. My hobbies make up a part of that person as do family, friends and work. My downtime allows me to function well in the rest of my life. My hobbies all tend to be analog… miniatures, comic books, vinyl records. I think this is a counter to my very digital based job.
    Btw That homer meme is disturbing!

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  2. Oh I do like a deep and meaningful question first thing in the morning! For me the hobby was a natural extension to the toys I played with as a kid, an outlet for my creativite side. It later became a means of switching off from the stresses of life when I wasn’t quick enough to duck when the shit hit the fan! Now it’s an important means of filling my time, keeping my brain active and simply trying to get better at something which I enjoy. It also stops SWMBO from probably killing me!

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      1. Might alter the times when I’d chose to do modelling but it doesn’t stop me from doing it. One day it might, health being the obvious potential issue which we could all face at some point in our lives. The reality is if life becomes stressful and it does from time to time when you have a family then all the more need to do modelling to calm things down I find.

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      2. I know it sounds like a wank and maybe a bit arrogant but I don’t do stress anymore. Thankfully I have nothing to stress about. I think when you walk through enough shit you really appreciate the green grass underneath it all 😉

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      3. Long may it continue in that way for you. It’s tough when things affect your kids and parents and you can do nothing about it but that’s life. Stress doesn’t help much in any situation so better to be chilled as you are. It’s not arrogant, just your way of dealing with things.

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      4. I guess I didn’t want it to sound like I don’t care haha. I certainly do but I ever ever sweat the small stuff or even the medium sized stuff. As long as everyone is healthy I’m happy. 🤘🏼

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  4. It’s always good to have a mix of things to keep you occupied imo – I feel very sorry for folks with no outlet other than tv… I think that ‘RL’ is roughly translated as ‘responsible stuff that stops us doing something that we would rather be doing’… work, family and chores can all come under that category, but they don’t have to if you enjoy those things 🙂

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    1. I never ever wanted a life where I work all day, come home, eat, watch telly and the bed. I’m pleased to say I don’t have that life at all BUT I have found I enjoy doing absolutely nothing in the evenings sometimes too. That’s more of an effect from the physical work I do now though rather than a life long dream haha. I know people who’s lives are governed by telly. Even telling me they can’t do something because it’s the final episode of some brain dead show about cooking. Haha. Screw that man!

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  5. For me, hobby life is something of an escape – although not as dramatic as it sounds. Painting miniatures and playing boardgames, RPGs and video games are my way to relax, and if I don’t have time for those, stress tends to crop up. With home renovations, Emmi moving in and a busy Spring at work, I haven’t painted anything since April, and I definitely notice being a lot more tense than usual. Luckily the summer holidays are starting on Saturday for me 🙂

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    1. I used to call it escape because that’s exactly what I wanted and needed in my previous relationship ahaha but now it’s just my time with my models. My wife always laughs and says “oh you’re “doing” your models are you?” Haha.

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  6. Another thought provoking question. I absolutely agree, I too need downtime and my own space, (even though my job means I’m predominantly by myself that isn’t enough, at least not by itself). For me “real life” is just a shorthand, a way of summing up all the things that have to be done which take up time and energy which could otherwise be spent enjoying myself. Some of that “real life” is stuff I’m very passionate about, or I enjoy, and I’m happy to talk about and share, and some of it is either bad stuff that I don’t want or need to share online, or it’s very personal, so a catch-all term is really handy. It’s fair to say though that painting miniatures is very relaxing and meditative for me, and helps me to deal with the “real life” so in some ways it is unfair to delineate the two.

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  7. Dividing up my time is just part of daily life anymore. Work, get a couple of things done around the house, make dinner, and then squeeze in some reading time to wind down for the night. Luckily for me, my husband understands this. He’s usually in a video game for a couple of hours. Alone time is a wonderful thing. It keeps you sane. At least somewhat. 😛 We’re pretty big home bodies these days too. If I can manage to barely leave my property for the weekend, it was a successful weekend.

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    1. One of my favourite things is when everyone is at home and we are all doing our own thing. So sharing space together but all involved in what we are doing. I like listening to the kids playing while I’m painting. Then we all break and have a cup of tea and watch a movie or play hide and seek haha.

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      1. Haha, sounds like my dream! I’ve been thinking of how to incorporate The Toddler into the same room with me, while I’m painting.

        Challenges: 1) I need at least an hour or two of painting time. Her playtime span is considerably less than that. 2) She has deadly little cobra hands that could snatch a freshly painted mini off the desk before I could finish blinking. Said mini would likely be involved in a roll down carpeted stairs shortly thereafter.

        What do your kids do while you’re painting usually?

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      2. I have an answer for you… Get a cage! Haha.

        My eldest reads, plays on her phone, practices her singing. My middle one does everything from sewing to making slime haha. The youngest has a great imagination and plays LEGO, plays Avengers, plays dolls, pretends to have a cafe and brings me food hehe. It’s nice because I’m still present as my hobby space is our old dining room so I can still interact, muck around etc but also chip away at my hobby. If the level of their want for attention escalates I just stop for a couple of hours and hang out with them or make lunch etc. it’s pretty cruisy. I think it helps them be independent but at the same time we have lots of one on one time too.

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      3. Sounds pretty sweet. Yea, when they need attention, you pretty much have to stop what you’re doing.

        The Toddler has started playing with dolls and making up stories occasionally. Tonight I was reading a book and talked her into “reading” her own books, while we sat on the couch together. Took some doing, but ended up pretty nice. She’s also “making dinner” all the time and bringing us “food” to eat all the time. It’s cute.

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  8. I used to say “real life got in the way” but now I think that’s foolish thing to say: you have to take care of real life stuff so you can enjoy the hobby. It’s supposed to be a hobby. Now, when somebody who regularly plays three or more games each week complains that “real life got in the way so I couldn’t play” I’m like, yeah, what do you expect?

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    2. Depends on how you look at it. “Real life” has crap that never, ever ends (or mine does, at least), so you do need to prioritise the things in it alongside being able to relax and enjoy a hobby or you can very easily become a person who does nothing but work, eat, sleep and do things for other people until you eventually die. I wish I could regularly play a game every three weeks, let alone three per week.
      Needing to know when to say “enough is enough” to work, others, and even things that “need” to be done is important.

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      1. Your last point is very, very true mate. With my own business I find it hard to say no to jobs because you never know what it might lead to. However, a big part of the reason why I went from employee to working for myself is so I could see the kids more. Which I have done BUT I’m pretty much working all this weekend haha. I think it’s all about balance.

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      2. Yeah, I’m not self-employed, but my job is one of those ones where it never ends and there’s always more you can be doing (not unique, I know) but there’s also often an expectation that you’ll do stuff after work, at home, in your own time out of hours, in unpaid time – and while you *do* need to just suck it up and do that *some* of the time, there’s also that knowing when to just turn it all off and have a life instead.

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  9. So, is this where I come in late to the party and say I would have replied sooner but real life got in the way? No, it’s actually just the time difference caused by being half way round the world! Nice to hear everyone’s point of view! God help real life if it gets in the way of me painting minis!

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  10. Too much of any one thing, can be too much. It’s a constant battle. Whether that be spending too much time at work, with the family, doing personal hobbies, etc. Yesterday was a pretty classic scenario. I had been thinking about getting some hobby time in while at work. Asked my Wife if she could keep The Toddler in check for 30 minutes while I get some minis primed in the garage. She gladly accepted, and then I took over Toddler watch afterwards. We work together like that quite often. My Wife might not always understand my hobby, but she is understanding of me. Great teamwork, and we give each other the space and downtime we need. Like you, I had partners in the past, where that just didn’t work. I find with many people, they seemingly never learned how to “entertain themselves”. Leave them alone, and they immediately get bored and can’t think of anything to do. That makes my brain explode, as I find I never have enough time for personal hobbies. But I also need chunks of time with family and friends too.

    The title “Real life vs Hobby life”, makes me think about how much people don’t understand about the miniature painting hobby and gaming in general. It’s not socially acceptable to talk about some of those things, or to thoroughly geek out about them. If I launch into a conversation about the different types of varnish I was looking at to protect my minis and how a satin is different than a gloss…..they are going to excuse themselves. But geek out over Sport stats or Car parts, and it’s all totally normal. Sometimes very odd to me.

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  11. Thought provoking as always IRO, but the answer is simple the difference between real life and hobby life is “one sucks the doesn’t”. To be honest though, I don’t hate work (I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to of course), but it’s pretty mind numbing stuff, which is great for me as it means I can do it (after 29years) without thinking about it, this means 90% of my brain is thinking about gaming 90% of the time (and sex the other 10% if the experts are right!).

    Home time is split between time with my wife and family and this (sat on my own in front of the PC or little gaming figure). I love going out to concerts or the theatre (like last night in fact). but I think it’s all about balance, if it makes you happy do it, if it don’t. DONT.

    Cheers Roger.

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    2. I wouldn’t say the Strippers is theatre mate haha. Nah, what did you see? I used to have a mind numbing job in my early 20s which allowed me to think about music and stories etc.

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      1. Ahhh Strippers! now there’s a blast from my miss spent youth! I was once out for a meal with my then girlfriend of a couple of weeks (now wife), in a pub and there was a “stag do” in the back room. Once the stripper had finished her act and dressed, she walked through the restaurant out the front and stopped at our table to say “hello, what are you doing here?” to me on the way past! Luckily my girlfriend knew what I’d been up to so I lived through it! (I had stopped going as soon as I started to date her, by the way).

        “The play that goes wrong1”, a comedy was what we went to see the other night thanks for asking.

        Cheers Roger.

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  12. Agree with a lot of points here. For myself, family time is important, but most of my hobby work goes on in the evening when the kids are in bed, so it’s like the day is their time and the evening is our downtime. I do often ponder if I could (or should) be doing something “more productive” but we do what we enjoy, and it’s doubling as a creative outlet too so that’s a bonus.

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    1. Even though we have the occasional day where we all do our own thing but in each other’s company I’d say the majority of my hobby time is the same as yours. I like it because it’s quiet.

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  13. It’s probably more common with video games (and more destructively with gambling) but peoples hobby lives absolutely can consume and ruin their real lives… I’ve seen it happen, and online I saw it happen to a couple of people in miniatures when I used to be on forums. But hobby is a good way to de-stress and take the mind off the problems of work and the world.

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      1. Like anything though, if you’re spending more time on your hobby than on your family, or work, or whatever, eventually it’s going to cause some sort of trouble! It’s all about balance.

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      2. Yeah true. I always think drinking at the pub or gambling would be a problem but surely not the hobby but of course it could. I don’t mean any offence to anyone but I can’t help but laugh at the thought of my wife and I getting divorced because I spent too much time with my little men haha.

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    2. I’ve seen MMOs be particularly unhealthy to people I know, and I’ve read horror stories about Star Citizen (and kinda lost a good tech to obsessing over it at work).

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      1. I lost a friend to World of Warcraft. He lost his girlfriend, he failed uni, he stopped working, he stopped playing Warhammer…. this was 10 years ago now or longer, and he still hasn’t got his life back on track from those 2 or 3 wasted years. Pretty extreme but when things get out balance it can happen.

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  15. This post makes me want to lift a glass in approval and throw in a nod of solidarity for good measure. 😀 Couldn’t agree more. Hobby Time and Alone Time are the essential ingredients needed to keep me sane. I like to socialize as I see fit as well, but for the most part I love being home and just getting to work on the things I love. I’m glad you have a partner now who doesn’t make you feel guilty for taking time to do the things you enjoy. 🙂

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