Wow! All I can say is that this was one of, if not, the best games I’ve played.
It was quite epic!
I had the idea of a “South Pacific island” themed battle a long while back. When I started the ORK pun battles early last year (2019) I refined the idea into ORKinawa.
Firstly, a lot of the reason why this game/battle was so much fun is owed to the fact that my combatant was one of my best mates, Keith. I’ve known this bloke since we were sixteen and we are now forty one. He’s a cool dude who came around to humour me with my plastic soldiers but was soon immersed in it all just as much as I was hehe.
The second key factor to why this game was so good is because of the terrain and table mats. I need the table to be as realistic as possible. Not because I’m a perfectionist or don’t have an imagination but because it helps me lose myself in the battle. It’s a whole lot more immersive when your troops are hiding behind sandbags or your tank is smashing through trees and shrubs. In my opinion at least. The green foliage you’ll see is from a local hardware store. They sell large mats of fake plants. The one I purchased was the closest scale. The whole mat is about 600mmX600mm and only cost $15. What you see on the battlefield is only about 1/4 of the mat cup up. Great value. I had started off basing the cut up foliage but that was taking too long and, evidently as you’ll see, the “un-based” bits of green look completely fine. I also quickly dry brushed a gothic terrain piece from gamemat.eu with Zandri Dust (GW) to give it a more tropical island look. The boats I used are for my legs Pirate island project and were a hasty addition at the last minute, hence why they’re unpainted.
The third reason why the game was great is because it was quite unpredictable. The upper hand passed between Keith and I constantly, right up until the end in fact.
Lets kick off…
ORKinawa is a small but beautiful island in the, mostly, baron seas of VilKrane IV. The climate is perfect and the land is dotted with natural fruiting shrubs and trees that are safe to consume. Fresh water sits just under the surface of the warm sandy ground. Strange but friendly fauna roam freely across the island and there is an, almost intoxicating, sense of peace.
The Orks landed on the island by mistake many moons back and decided to set up camp. Despite their insatiable diet they restrained themselves and started farming their dinner instead of just raping the lands of all it’s worth. They spent their days sunning themselves, eating and sleeping.
The Imperial Guard fell in love with the island and wanted it. The islands core was thick with Coaxium deposits. They wanted to mine the island but also use it as a respite resort for their officers.
Heres the setup: (I used two mats to create a shoreline).
“Send in the Catachan Conscripts in first. They’re cheap and expendable” Colonel Jeremiah, of The Mighty 77th Cadian Battalion, said coldly.
The two boats to land troops and vehicles were commissioned from a very small Pygmy village nearby and, although they were old, would suit the needs for the mission at hand.
The Catachans, Lead by Major Hart, jumped off the boats onto the cream coloured sand. It was quiet with only a slight breeze and the sun was high and hot. The second boat landed with two leman russ tanks. As they slowly trundled off the vessels a guttural whirring noise could be heard in the distance.
Major Hart halted his men and hushed them so he could listen. A sense of dread filled him when he realised it was an approaching plane. “COVER” Hart yelled and his men hit the sand. Rattattattatatattt! The machine guns on an old Ork fighter plane opened up on the catachans position and then came the distinct whistling sound of a a bomb being dropped. The explosion was devastating and eleven of the twenty three guardsmen were killed. There was nothing the surviving soldiers could do as they were only equipped with Lasrifles and pistols. They grabbed what cover they could behind a couple of boulders and foliage as the Bomber circled back and took off the way it had come.
Kommander Klank of Der Störenfried (German Ork Army) smirked at the destruction his fighter had caused in one bombing run and decided there and then that he would destroy the human scum with his planes. However he also ordered his infantry, tank, mech-armour and motorcycles out into the field to defend. Most of the troops took cover behind sandbag emplacements and kept a watch on the shoreline.
The two Leman Russ Battle Tanks creeped up the left flank of the beachhead and hugged the dark green foliage for soft cover. They soon spotted a German Ork field car that had a flamer and bolt guns attached to it. Both Tanks opened fire but the shells were a little off and left the car with nothing but a few scratches.
Behind the tanks another boat load of troops turned up, including a personnel carrier. This time it was the Cadians and their command squad with Commissar Garrett in the lead.
Colonel Jeremiah sorted out the squads of troops on the beach but seconds later the bomber plane returned and unleashed hell on the Cadians. Most of Red squad was lost with the four remaining troops ducking for cover in some dense foliage.
The Russ Tanks opened fire on the Ork car again and this time they managed to blow it to pieces. After getting pummelled by the Ork bomber it was nice to get a little payback.
Ork troops and Mechs slowly but purposely advanced down the centre of the field and on the right flank of the attacking Cadians. The Guard saw this and concentrated on moving up the left flank.
One of the Ork Mechs known as The Morin Bot (After Mark Morin), clambered towards the last of the Catachan Conscripts. Courageously but maybe a little stupidly the jungle warriors charged the Mech-Bot and engaged in hand to mechanical claw combat. Sadly all of the catachans were slain within moments.
As I (IRO) fought back tears the evil mastermind AKA KEITH pondered his next move.
Clearly favouring his cowardly Ork Bomber he struck again but this time failed to inflict any damage or kills.
Did this mean the luck was changing for the guard?
The rest of Red Squad teamed up with with blue squad and the guardsmen charged up into the island ready to spill some Ork blood. Yellow squad, still in their troop carrier, moved up the centre of the battlefield with another Ork Mech in their sights.
The Infamous Sergeant Gunn, who had arrived with the Catachans and had snuck up the island incognito, took careful aim on the Orks half track motorcycle and with two, well aimed shots, he took it down.
Meanwhile one of the Guards tanks had managed to sneak around on the far left and found one of the Ork planes idling beside a small ruined building. The tanks canon levelled and fired but the lethal shot went sailing over the top of the plane.
The troop truck pulled up alongside the Ork Mech and all the guardsmen opened fire. They merely scratched the well armoured Ork brute.
The Mech Ork fired back at the truck and then took aim at the advancing Command squad. He took down all of command including Commissar Garrett.
The Mech Ork roared with delight!
Just behind him an Ork tank followed by a small squad of Dezert Korpz troops and motorcycle with pillion moved up into a closer position.
The Imperial Troop carrier gunned its engine and tried to ram the Ork Mech but it simply bounced off him.
Having clicked on empty with the machine gun the Mech Ork grabbed the troop truck with his powerful mechanical claw and flipped the vehicle onto its side killing the driver and spilling out the last three yellow squad troopers.
The guardsmen rolled out and took up firing positions as the Dezert Korpz and tank came into view.
The Leman Russ who had found the Ork Bi-Plane reloaded and fired again and this time it was directly on target. The plane exploded killing the occupants.
Kommander Klank was not impressed but still felt confident that victory would be his. He watched on with much interest.
White squad, who had been in reserve, landed on the beach and ran to where the Catachan fighters had been slaughtered. The Ork Mech-Bot was still there basking in its glory. White squad opened fire on the mechanical nightmare and took it down… execution style. However, a squad of angry Orks lay just behind the Bot and ran out to assault white squad.
The ensuing battle was nothing less than a bloody mess. An Ork sergeant known as SnotPig slew five of the guardsmen within the first few minutes of combat. The last five men of white squad bravely fought on but it was a hard and vicious fight. Soon they were reduced to only two but they had managed to kill the squad of Orks. Exhausted, the two guardsmen fell in a heap to the sand.
The last Ork motorcycle with pillion took aim on the last three men from yellow squad who had fallen from the truck. “FIRE!” The rider of the motorcycle cried at his gunner. BamBamBamBamBam
Only one of guardsmen fell to the ground dead. The other two, narrowly, missed the heavy fire and darted back between the ruined truck and some sandbags. Suddenly Major Iron-Jawz sprung a one Ork trap on the two guardsmen and sliced them apart with his mechanical claw.
Blue squad saw this and opened fire on the old Ork Major, killing him, and then they attacked the last Ork Mech but their bullets seemed to do nothing. One brave soldier charged the Xeno-mechanical-monster and lunged his bayonet into the brutes face ending it’s life instantly. HOORAH!
The dreaded Ork bomber swooped in low for another devastating attack and this time it had its sights on one of the Guard Tanks. Thankfully, the bombs landed way off target. The Leman Russ fired up at the annoying plane but missed the first time. The second shot hit the planes fuselage and it came crashing down.
The Imperial Guard were feeling elated. After the horrific losses on the beach they had now secured a strong foothold on the island and were kicking arse (ass).
Using the Orks very own heavy machine gun, Blue squad opened fire on the Dezert Korpz troops and their last motorbike and managed to wipe all of them out.
Then the guardsmen turned the heavy machine gun so it faced Klanks bodyguards and fired. Unfortunately they hit nothing but sandbags but this didn’t ruin their morale at all. They charged the sandbag walls screaming “For the Emperor”. Klanks well trained and hardened troops that were feared by all, including their own kind, were ready for the attack.
Meanwhile, twenty feet away, the guard tank that took out the plane was receiving heavy fire from the Ork tank. Usually Ork tanks aren’t known for their accuracy but this one was manned by a veteran Kaptin. The Leman Russ rattled as another shell landed on its hull shaking the occupants. “Fire” yelled the Leman Crew Leader. The shot was true and hit the Ork tank square in the front and dented it but nothing else. Another shot from the Orks landed just under the Leman throwing it 30 feet into the air. It crashed to the sand killing all the crew instantly and then the war machine exploded.
Blue Squads leader, Lieutenant Dash, saw the tank be destroyed. His blood boiled. He gritted his teeth and charged at the Ork tank swinging his roaring chainsword. The Ork tank made light work of the brave Guard Lieutenant.
The other Leman Russ, the one that had taken out the Bi-Plane, now fired up at Klank himself. All it’s shots missed, Klank fired back and so did a solo Ork, from the rear, who had snuck away from battle. Together they fired shot after shot at the tank until it exploded.
Now, with both Guard Tanks out of action, the guardsmen were suddenly feeling a strong sense of dread.
Blue squad took on Klanks bodyguards in hand to hand combat and, despite, losing a few troops they managed to wipe out the tough old battle dogs. They then climbed up onto the ruined building where Klank was overseeing the battle and took the old fearless leader on in hand to hand combat.
Unfortunately their skills in combat paled in comparison to those of Klank. He took down one after another of the Guardsmen and only received a small scratch under his eye in return.
With Blue squad dead this left two members of white squad the only men left standing. Quietly, they snuck off into the water and started swimming. What happened to them no one knows?
Victory to the Orks but only just. The Imperial Guard lost a lot of manpower right at the start but, due to their stoic nature, they pushed on and had the Orks feeling a little nervous for a while there.
The Orks held their ground and did not even consider any form of retreat even when the Guard Tanks were kicking arse. They secured the whole area once more and then got to cooking up all the dead guardsmen.
I hope you enjoyed the Battle Report.
I put this up on our Fly On The Wall Podcast Instagram page and thought you lot might like it too. Just a weird little observation I made recently hehe.
There might be an ORKinawa II coming soon.