The Battle Of New OrkLeans

My pal Keith came by Saturday night, just gone, to take part in an epic battle. 

After nearly three full months of building and painting I finished my Ork town/fort/compound called New OrkLeans and I was keen to set it all up and have a game. 

I had the Saturday off so after doing my chores I took my time in setting up the table with all the bits of terrain I’d built. I felt like a big kid setting up his toys and you know what I had an absolute ball haha. Like a lot of us I have a very busy life so it actually felt really nice to just take my time setting things up. I played around with a few configurations as it’s all modular but, as I showed you the other day, I went with this layout. 

I then set up the Orks in the town, lining all the walls with warriors and dotting a few through the internal areas of New OrkLeans. 

Next, I lined up all of the imperial guard ready for Keith who’d be playing them. 

I then went out and bought some beer and snacks. 

Keith turned up at 8 and it was game on…

The objectives:

The imperial guard (a mix of Cadians, Praetorian Guard and my own BannaRoff army) were to Infiltrate the town, capture the Air Purifier Tower and hold it until the end of 8 turns. 

The Orks had to stop the Guard at any cost. 

Turn 1:

I rolled highest so I went first. As I was already set up there wasn’t a lot I could do BUT as I was playing Orks and Orks are a little nuts I decided to swing open the gates and send 9 boyz lead by a Brute (Nob) out charging into the nearest Praetorian Guard Squad. Then the Brute unleashed hell and took down five of the guardsmen in close combat. You should’ve seen Keith’s little face, so sad. Haha. I then fired off some rockets from the watch tower but as they could only hit on a six my attempts failed. I also failed to close the gates (rookie mistake) before my turn ended. 

Clearly after a little revenge, Keith opened fire on the Brute and his boyz with a Leman Russ Tank and took out all but one Boy. Despite the bloody turn of events I gave a little cheer. One thing you should know about me is that I don’t care about winning or losing, I just like the game to be cinematic and exciting. As mentioned, I’d left the gates open to New OrkLeans which is the equivalent to handing Keith the fucking keys to the town haha. He slowly moved his Prae Guard squads towards the gates, followed closely by two squads of Cadians. Was I worried? Hell no! Well, maybe a little. 

Turn 2: 

Right, I thought, I’m going to try again with the mounted rocket launcher on the tower and fired straight down at the Praetorian Guard squads and tanks. I fired a total of five times and didn’t roll a single six! What the actual shit? 

Feeling quite bemused I turned to the giant Ork called Lobba. He’s a big mean bastard but can only shoot (hurl a bomb) once per turn. I gave it a crack though and BAM!! Lobba lobbed a bomb right into the centre of a guard squad and took down half a dozen of the dirty Umies. I then moved six of my Boyz up for a bit of hand to hand but unfortunately they didn’t do too well and by the end of the fracas only one boy was left standing (again). 

Keith brought in his Basilisk and fired but failed to hit anything. He then brought in a veteran guard unit that was carrying a ladder with them and headed to the west wall, close to where the air purifier tower was located. They were poised for breaching the wall. 

Turn 3:

Lobba had another crack and this time aimed for a Leman Russ but only scratched the bastard thing. After seeing what Keith’s cheeky veteran squad were up to I sent some Brutes and Boyz to the west wall to back up the Boyz that were already there. They fired down at the veterans but only killed two of the sneaky gits. I also sent off my kamikaze Grot in the hope to blow up a tank but the silly little bugger blew himself up instead. 

The veteran guard set up their ladder. I tried to roll an even number to knock it down but failed so up came the guard. Some vicious fighting commenced up in the ramparts of the west wall right next to the air purifier. I’d like to say the first lot of boyz did well but Keith’s veterans were just too tough and skilled for them. The boyz and brutes were all cut down within minutes. Meanwhile the guard tanks trundled into the compound and took aim at Warboss BludKleeva and wounded the big old Ork. 

Turn 4: 

Lobba lobbed a bomb again at a Leman Russ but failed to get a hit. The mounted rocket launcher fired again a few times at the tanks too but failed once again, sigh…

I sent reinforcements to the west wall and engaged with the enemy and did ok this time taking out three or four veterans but, I’ll be honest, I was getting a little worried at this point. 

Keith brought on another veteran squad AND a command squad and they started their approach to the air purifier. His tanks, now right in the compound, opened fire on Lobba killing him 😞 

Turn 5: 

I sent a sneaky Ork armoured car round the corner and opened fire on the veterans with its mounted machine guns and took down two vets. SlapChop (the publican) heard all the ruckus from within The Slaughtered Squig and decided to step outside and have a bit of a biff with the Praetorian Guard. Sadly, they took him down with ease. I was shocked, stunned and a little amazed by this. Meanwhile, SlapChops brother, the butcher, climbed up onto the west wall using his body as a natural barricade between the guard and the purifier. He killed one veteran before he too was sadly cut down. It was at this point that I internally screamed WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! 

SlapChop attempting to sort shit out

Keith’s veterans continued to go hand to hand with Ork boyz on the west wall but this time, thankfully, struggled to cause any real damage. His tanks fired again at BludKleeva but didn’t hurt him this time… Phew. 

Turn 6: 

I really should’ve sent a whole load more reinforcements to the west wall but I think I was shell shocked by all the merciless carnage keith was inflicting on my poor Orks. Instead my armoured car fired again but missed completely this time. Da Morin Bot, who was standing century halfway up the air purifier tower, decided to take on the imperial guard veterans and command squad and, just like SlapChop and The Butcher, utterly failed. He killed one single veteran before he was destroyed by chainswords and bolt pistols. Dang! I then decided to send my rocket car on a suicide mission but, just like the Grot kamikaze, he blew himself up instead. 

Having triumphed over Da Morin Bot, the Guard climbed the air purifier tower. Now all they had to do was hold their position. Keith then brought on his sniper unit who ended up deploying at the south-east end of the compound. They took a shot at BludKleeva and hit him but I rolled a save. 

Turn 7:

I was a bit worried about those Snipers so I had my Boyz on the south wall open up on them with volley firing and took all three of them down. A very small win for me finally. 

Next BludKleeva fired off a few rockets at the guards on the air purifier tower. He killed a few but not enough. THEN I released my secret weapon which happened to be another Warboss who was hiding in the shack on top of the air purifier tower. He took on the guard singlehanded in hand to hand combat. He killed one command squad trooper but was then stabbed through the heart. Bugger, my secret plan had failed pretty dismally haha. 

A failed surprise attack from a lone Warboss

The guard mopped up what was left of any boyz on the tower but really Keith was sitting pretty from this point. 

Turn 8:

I tried firing more rockets from the launcher and also from BludKleeva but had no luck whatsoever. 

Keith, smiling ear to ear having already won, decided to bring on more units to just simply humiliate me and my Orks haha. 

Despite the severe loss I had a ball and I don’t think I made it exactly easy for Keith to win but win he did. 

I clearly made some strategic errors by manning all the walls and should’ve had more Orks in and around the air purifier. 

I was a little disappointed that more of the town wasn’t utilised during the game. It was really just the front gates and the west wall. No complaints though as it was so much fun to play the game with Keith in New OrkLeans. 

I wonder if I could convince my other mate Big Waz into a game?

Cheers 

IRO